yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
