he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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