i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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