Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
