she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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