I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
