College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
