I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
