i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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