we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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