Are we in a gay sports bar?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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