Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
