I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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