My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will pee on everything he values.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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