K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
