So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
