btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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