let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
