apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
