Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My bed smells like the plague
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