Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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