***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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