why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
