after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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