So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
