We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
