so that wasnt chicken after all
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
