her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
