Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
