I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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