I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
