I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
