ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
