I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
