you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
