why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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