She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
