We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
