Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
