I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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