drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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