I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
