I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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