Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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