I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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