but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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