Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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