Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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