I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
