That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
