Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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