So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
