i think my tv is drunk
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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