Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
