My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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