ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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