She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
