found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
